Thursday, February 20, 2014

Sexual Abuse or Imagination



Today's post is in response to something I recently saw on an old episode of Dr. Phil called Child Molester or Innocent Soldier Accused. Click the link to check it out and post your opinions in the comments section below. 

Towards the end, the mother said she doesn't know how her daughter could know what she knew and describe it in detail if she hadn't gone through it. The answer is simple: porn and showering with dad. That's it in a nutshell. If she was showering with him, she knew what he looked like naked. If she watched porn, she knew where he what he would do with his penis and where it would go on a woman. She even would know what foreplay is. Children learn about sex fast because their own body tells half of the story as corroborating evidence. In this case, that she described sexual activities and body parts is not in itself indicative of sexual abuse. 

However, this child has already been exposed to too much to know if her allegations were a child's imagination or real. Showers with an opposite sex adult and watching porn from start to finish, coupled with her stepdad's innocently tickling her and possibly touching her accidentally on her privates in the process could have made her mind take off, as if she was in a porno. 

On the other hand, it could just as easily be so that the stepdad put all of these improprieties before her to build up a defense of lesser guilt so that he could have something to point his finger at while sexually abusing her. In other words, he would have a defense for how she got to watch porn by accident and that his wife knew that they took showers together (lame as they are) and that her imagination was taking off. Cases like this are really hard to tell. 

So what do we learn? Never give the appearance of evil. If I was in a blended family, I would do everything in my power to never even be alone with an individual stepchild. I definitely would not let either gender shower with me or see me naked in any way (if one can't wash their own hair, i'll wash it for them at the sink). As for porn, there would be none in the house at all. We all know that children know the secrets of their house. How quickly we forget about the times when we found our parents' secret porno stash. I remember finding my father's and it was shocking. I still have memories of people greedily hungering for sex in the most perverse ways, and my brother found it too. He even went as far as getting some of his own. Nevertheless, I don't understand why married people keep porn. We all know what to do. Why is a guide needed? If necessary, do legitimate research, but porn is not research, it is a fantasy, an unreality, and it can be divisive to the point where a mate's sexual appetite isn't for plain sex, but for the extremes portrayed in the porno. 

So what do you think of this story? My opinion is simply that I don't know. Some things were definitely done that were inappropriate, but I don't know if he is actually guilty of sexual abuse. 

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