Monday, December 2, 2013

I Love Him!

Now that James (name changed) and I have made up, I’m ready to post about all of the reason why I love him. Here are my worthless two cents on what’s makes me gush about him.

It’s funny because one of the things I love about him is the same thing that I sometimes hate about him – putting others ahead of himself. I love how he is so giving to especially me and others. However, sometimes he gives to others his last penny and I could strangle him because maybe I needed just one more penny to get something we really need. Or he will inconvenience me to help someone else out, as discussed in the last article.

As hardcore and James likes to think he is, he is actually a big softy. In fact, he is the biggest softy I know. He is very gentle and tender with me and others who are helpless and defenseless like children, the sick, and the elderly. He hates when I tell him how soft-hearted he is, but it’s absolutely true.

I would be shortsighted if I did not mention the respect I have for him as a man for overcoming his childhood and past. Without getting into details, James has suffered one of the worst upbringings I have ever heard of, and the decisions he has made as an adolescent and young adult would be easily predicted by a clinical, developmental, or personality psychologist. I am so proud of him for putting in the work to transform himself from an insensitive brute to a meek, mild, and tender gentleman. Does his past rear its ugly head sometimes? Sure! In fact, he is still dealing with the consequences of some of his [in]actions. That’s when Erica, the professional supporter, comes to the rescue to remind him of all of the progress he has made and to deal with those problems as they come.

James is also very industrious. I will not say that he will never have a normal permanent full-time job, but they are extremely hard to come by because of some blemishes in his background. However, he has demonstrated that he only views money as a means to an end, so he is willing to work all kinds of menial jobs. Pretty much, he will do anything at any time of day and night that is legal and does not violate the Scriptures. I appreciate that he has not thrown in the towel and gone back to any number of ways that he used to make fast money.

This leads to the next thing I love about James – his honesty and candor. He has left no stone unturned when it comes to telling me all about himself. After telling me the good, the bad, and the ugly, I feel like I can completely trust him.

This next point is something that I did not see the importance of until I started dating James, and that is his ability to speak, read, and write well. I love the way he speaks. He speaks so intelligently that I think people are sometimes taken aback by it. When he reads, he does not call words, and he can read beyond a seventh grade level, unlike most Americans. He is one of the few people I actually enjoy reading to me. As for his writing, the average person may be able to speak and read well, but all hope is lost for most people’s writing skills. Not so with James. Heck, his handwriting is neater than mine, and his grammar is stellar. Where we live, the average person lacks these skills, so I am so happy that James is not one of them.

Another thing I like about James is that he is not homebody. He likes to go out every day if he can, and he likes for me to go with him. Sometimes it is too much for me. I like to go out too, but not every day. However, I hardly ever complain because a lot of the women I know complain because they cannot get their man away from the TV or out of the house, or their man likes to go out but would rather leave the woman home so he can go out alone or hang with the guys. From day one my man has invited me to every single last outing. Well, he did leave me out of one only because it was sort of an after-party and took place at 2:00AM. That’s it. So if he wants me there with him to window shop (which I strongly hate doing since I think it is pointless to look at things I have no intention of buying and/or no money to do the buying), look through an endless combination of ties and dress shirts at discount and department stores, or to go to the fifth flea market for the day, I keep my yap shut and go as joyfully as I can. I’d rather he live out of doors than have to fight him whenever I want to go out.

The last point I will mention is also the biggest thing I am attracted to about James - his spirituality. I will not mention spiritual things too often in this blog because I decided from the beginning to keep it separate, but that is actually what drew me to James. He is very concerned with how God views his actions and speech and is constantly making changes based on what the Bible says. And he will not just go by what someone says, he wants to read the Scripture for himself before taking any stock in what someone says.

Ladies, what do you love about your man? We all give them grief, but it’s good to reflect on why we picked them in the first place. Guys, what does your woman love about you? Go ahead and toot your own horn. 

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